....Field of dreams....

I had a dream a number of years ago that was very vivid. If I close my eyes I can still see the golden colors and the blue sky as if it were real. I am not exactly sure why this is coming up now...but the images have been lingering in the peripheral of my mind lately. So here is a journal entry I wrote about it.....

I had a pretty intense dream last night...it started out just overlooking this golden wheat field...set against this intense and vibrant blue sky...it looks beautiful, but as the view goes closer and closer I see an opening in the wheat field and notice something like a black cocoon. I am maybe a few feet from this thing on the ground and notice that it is a person but not only are they wrapped in chains but they are also covered in tar. Then suddenly my view changes and I am the one that is tarred and chained. I struggle against the chains for what seems like a lifetime trying to somehow get lose. Because of the tar and the way I'm positioned my view of things around me is limited...but I can see that there is someone close by, but for some reason I refuse to ask for help. So I struggle, and twist and turn..for what seems like the entire night..my energy is spent and in tears I ask whoever it is to please help me...there is no immediate answer ..then again humbled and defeated I cry out for help. Then my vision of the dream changes and I am like an outsider looking in. I see myself lying there tarred, chained and crying then I see the end of the chain and I slowly follow it with my eyes and I see the person that is holding the chain...the one that I called out to...was me.

I remember I woke up from this dream in tears and I felt like I had to write it in my journal. So now looking back it makes me think of a few things.

1. I'm pretty stubborn and prideful at times... Even when I knew someone was close by I refused to ask for help at first....and instead spent the entire night (or so it seemed)struggling and trying to get free on my own.

2. I ultimately decide what will hold me back...I decide where and when to put down my pride and whether or not I let the obstacles in front of me become roadblocks that stop my progress or if I instead see them as an opportunity to become teachable and learn new ways to overcome, grow and be better.

Its definitely easy to recognize the things that might hold me back and say what I should do....The more difficult task will be actually putting what I learn into practice.... To really be teachable and be willing to do the work will take some time...but I'm grateful for the opportunity to try.