January 9th 2009

Yesterday was probably my worst day at Detox (Which is where I work) I got told off and sworn at by two mentally ill homeless clients yesterday. I had major staff issues I had to handle, and a meeting I didn’t want to be at. Not to mention having to work at my second job at the airport until midnight last night. I went to the airport yesterday with a heavy heart and a question in my mind as to why I moved to Utah in the first place or even why I was at this job….I went so far as to look for other work, as well as contemplate whether or not I am doing any good where I am at…and then this morning as I came into work one of our old clients walked up to the door and asked if there was a bed available. I could tell that he had been drinking …he began to cry saying he hated us seeing him like this and that he was so tired of messing up. I could see the anguish in his eyes and how tired he was …it broke my heart ….and reminded me why I love working at a job that doesn’t cover my bills :) …Detox is a place of a million and one chances in the hopes that this time it sticks and they stay clean…it can be considered “rock bottom” for some and a place of hope for others…and doesn’t everyone deserve a safe place to regroup and figure out what their next step should be?… I still am not totally certain why I am here but I know this is where I need to be for now.