My Dad...

Yesterday I was out with a friend going to garage sales. We found one that looked pretty promising but we had her little daughter in the car with us so I told her to go ahead and I would sit in the car with baby. While I was sitting there I was listening to some music...the familiar voice of Luther Vandross filled the car as he sang about his father...and my thoughts were turned to my sisters wedding day when she danced with my dad...and I found myself getting pretty emotional. I cried for a minute then decided to call my dad who is living in Samoa. We talked breifly about how he was doing and I was updating him on what was going on with me...but for the most part I just sat there listening to his voice with a huge smile on my face. I can picture my dad sitting on one of the many chairs he has made.. surrounded by a house that he built(and continues to add on to)for his kids, with his silver hair, and his hands worn by hard work that he has done all his life. As many stages as I have gone through in my journey, my dad has gone through just as many as a father. Our relationship has grown tons and I am so thankful for him. We literally lived in a shack in Samoa, no walls just some poles a tin roof and a wood floor. I remember my dad told me one day that it doesn't matter where you live just as long as you take care of it. So everyday after working on the roads in Samoa for 8 to 10 hours (getting paid $3 an hour) my dad would come home and work on building us a house and fixing the area around our house/shack at the time...he would work until the sun went down then he would repeat the process the next day. All the while trying to keep food on the table with 5 mouths to feed not even counting his own. Was our situation ideal or was he perfect as a father...no of course not but the lesson he taught me about hard work and sacrifice are in grained in me and is something that I pray to teach to my own family one day. I love you Dad...with everything I have I love you.

Not sure what to call this one....

OK so last night I was really missing my neices and nephews in Vegas so I decided to give them a call....here's how the conversation went.

Alvin (5 years old): Hello?
Me: Hi Alvin it's Aunty Sue?
Alvin: Hi Aunty When are you coming? (Okay I'm a sucker this totally melts my heart)
Me: Hopefully soon, maybe next weekend. How is school goiong?
Alvin: It's good.
Me: Oh good, do you have a girlfriend yet? (jokingly)
Alvin: Yes.
Me: Yes, you have a girlfriend?! (tripping)
Alvin: Yeah, she doesn't do everything for me in school but she's nice?
Me: So she's your girlfriend?! What's her name?
Alvin: YES Aunty! She's Diana.
Me: Well you make sure you're nice to her. Don't hit her or make her cry.
Alvin: OKay Aunty Love you Ezra wants to talk to you.
Ezra: (9 yr old) Hi Aunty, I have shocking news to tell you.
Me: Oh yeah what is it? You don't have a girlfriend do you?(jokingly)
Ezra: No I have two.
Me: What!? What are their names? (tripping)
Ezra: Daniella and Michelle, They are very nice to me.
Me: What do you mean nice to you?
Ezra: They do nice things for me. (I'm thinking...."Hoochies, trying to get up on my nephew!" What!? so I'm a little protective...I mean I'm not an idiot ..I didn't say that out loud to him.)
Me: Well make sure you treat them nice...and you better be doing your own school work.
Ezra: Don't worry Aunty I'm doing good in school. When are you coming? (Awwww.. again with the heart melting....yeah so I have embraced my own suckeriness...it's my blog I can make up my own words)
Me: Hopefully soon.
Ezra: Ok Aunty here's Iree, Love you.
Iree:(13 year old) Hi Aunty what are you up to?
Me: I'm just driving down to Lehi, how are you?
Iree: I'm good.
Me: Did you know your brothers have girlfriends?
Iree: Ewww Aunty!
Me: I'm serious! You know what you have to do right?
Iree: Eww...like be grossed out?
Me: No you have to go and check out these girls to make sure they are nice. (I'm really thinking...interrogate them to make sure they aren't Hoochies)
Iree: Aunty don't worry I think they might be imaginary.
Me: Iree I do not think your brothers have imaginary girlfriends. So you better handle that.
Iree: Eww aunty...the boys having girlfriends? Eww!! Okay I guess I can handle it.
Me: Anyways how are you?
Iree: I'm miserable! I hate it here I want to go back home to Hawaii. (I'm thinking...yeah I'd like to go back home too.)
Me: I know it's hard right now but give it some time you just need to find good friends and get use to Vegas.
Iree: I don't have good friends Aunty. One of my friends was smoking weed. (ALARMS GOING OFF IN MY HEAD)

OKay so obviously my conversation with my neice was a lot longer..I had to give her the whole "Drug" lecture. And how bad drugs are etc. (She assured me that she thinks drugs are stupid.) And all the while I'm praying she will feel like that ALWAYS!!. Then I was just trying to reassure her, that somehow no matter how hard or difficult her situation is that she'll make it through this. She cried, (yes ..again my heart breaks because she's so hurt and I'm truly helpless to ease anything she's going through) She expressed to me how she hasn't found any good friends and how hard that is for her. I just listened to her (thinking to myself how have I always been blessed to have good people around me when my neice is struggling to find someone to connect with) I'm a fixer by nature...so seeing my neice or anyone struggle is hard ...especially when you want to just jump in and help and do anything you can do to ease their burden. But sometimes... maybe we just have to ride it out with them...and give them the opprotunity to vent about their situation without trying to fix everything...that's a lesson I'm still trying to learn.

So what is the morale of this blog....hmmm I think there might be a few...

1. Don't think you can date my nephews if you're a skank
2. I'm a sucker where my neices and nephews are concerned
3. DRUGS ARE BAD
4. Being helpless to do anything when someone you love or care about is in pain...SUCKS!!


Here are some pictures of my neices and nephews who live in Vegas:

EZRA & VICKY AT THE POINT



EZRA & ALVIN



ME, IREE & VICKS



KUSO & TAUTE

Friends.... Part 2

So if you haven't read my friends blog below...you might want to take a quick glance before you read this one....

So I am not recanting anything I wrote about what I think a good friend is BUT....I have come to the realization that if I am being a "TRUE FRIEND"....an Honest to goodness "True Friend" (mind you this is my definition...y'all can define it any other way you want)I would not expect the same in return. Reciprocity is a beautiful thing...but it's not that easy to come by. I mean I'm sure if you really think about it you can count on one hand your friends who by your standards are "true friends". But does that mean we should be less of a friend to those who don't find it a priority to see how you are doing, or are concerned with what you are going through. I don't know.... everyone will have to answer that on their own. I guess it's just whatever you are comfortable with, but for me it was an eye opening experience. My feeling is that we are here in this mess of a life to help one another out..to be there for eachother and to uplift one another. I think people come and go in our lives for a reason. A lesson for us to learn, an opprotunity to give help, a test in patience lol, to show us a better example...the list is endless...BUT.. My hope and my prayer this morning was to not put any expectations on any of my friends, but just to be there. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to my truest friends (you know who you are:)) who have stuck by me when I was not fit to be around. Thanks for your example and Love.

Fly Like A Bird...

Man today I woke up late...I've been staying in Lehi for the past few days. I'm house sitting for a friend of mine. Anyways while I was running around the house getting ready and trying to take care of the dogs...a whole "To Do" List was forming in my brain....
1. call the bank
2. pay one bill
3. put the other off til next week
(lol don't trip we all do it)
4. wash my car
5. get gas (for my car lol)
6. call my Dad
7. go to training at work...anyways you catch my drift. So while I was rushing about I didn't think about saying my morning prayer...I jumped into my car and started to find my way to the 15. As I was driving...as always I'm blasting my music. Then a song comes on ...Fly Like A bird by Mariah Carey..Here are the lyrics:


Weeping may endure for a night,
but joy comes in the morning

Trust him.

Somehow I know that
There's a place up above
With no more hurt and struggling
Free of all atrocities and suffering
Because I feel the unconditional love
From one who cares enough for me
To erase all my burdens
And let me be free to

[chorus]
Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need you now Lord
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of you by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray you'll come and carry me home

Can we recover
Will the world ever be
A place of peace and harmony
With no war and with no brutality
If we loved each other
We would find victory
But in this harsh reality
Sometimes I'm so despondent
That I feel the need to

[chorus]
Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need You now Lord
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight
I need the strength of You by my side
Sometimes this life can be so cold
I pray You'll come and carry me home

He says he will never forsake you
Or leave you alone
Trust him

[Choir enters]
I need You right here right now Lord
I need You right here by my side
(Keep your head up)
Keep your head to the sky
With God's love you'll survive
(With Gods love you'll survive)

Fly like a bird
Take to the sky
I need you now Lord (I need you now oh Lord)
Carry me high
Don't let the world break me tonight (Please, don't You let the world, the world, the world break me tonight, tonight, tonight)
I need the strength of You by my side
(I pray, You're gonna take me home)



Of course I was singing at the top of my lungs lol (good thing I turned up the radio so loud I couldn't hear my own voice)...but anyways while I was singing ....this peace came over my heart...I just felt loved today...like He was mindful of me in my situation and in my struggles...even though I took no thought of Him this morning while I was rushing about my business. It made me think of a friend of mine...I recently heard part of his life story....and I was floored at the amount of trials he's been through ...and continues to go through....suffice it to say he's had it rough...yet, I met his family yesterday...his beautiful wife and his darling kids...and for me they glowed. I'm not sure if he sees that he is overcoming all the adversity he is facing...I think when we are in the situation we might not see things or ourselves as clearly... or we might not see that we are becoming stronger with every step we make in a forward direction...regardless of how small the step.

My philosophy on trials is...it's all relative to the person going through it. If there is one thing I can't stand it's when I hear people say "No one has gone through what I've been through" or "Please, that's nothing compared to what I've gone through". That's ignorant and irritating. Thinking about what my friend has gone through...I look at it and think I would've buckled under the pressure. But he's overcoming everyday. I hope he knows that.

Now going back to the song and my feeling today...I was half way through my journey on the 15...my eyes started to itch from allergies, I got a call from a collection agency (of course I said I wasn't home ...lol), and the "you need gas idiot" light went on....and yet I felt loved. My hope and prayer is that anyone going through the adversities of this life is feeling loved today...We'll get through it y'all. Especially if we reach out and help each other.

Friends....

I am not exactly sure why this is, but seriously all of my life I have been blessed to have great friends. What constitutes a great friend?....I'm sure the answer is different for everyone. For me a great friend....doesn't pull any punches....meaning when I'm acting stupid...they call me on it. When they feel strongly about something I'm doing or something I'm about to do they make sure they voice their opinion. They kick me in the butt...when I'm slacking...or just listen when I need to vent. They are my biggest supporters...but would also not hesitate to slap me in the head if that's what they feel I needed. On my blackest most darkest days...these friends have cried with me and prayed for me and were just there when I needed them. Without even having to be asked ...they are there with no thought about what they are giving or the time they are spending on me. I am not exactly sure why I've been so blessed but I am thankful for the examples that they have shown me....and I pray that I may be that type of friend to those around me to whoever I meet....because everyone deserves to have someone in their corner.

One good thing about music.....

One good thing about music....now if you're a Bob Marley fan you know how this ends. Music is powerful it has healing affects and can change how you feel in a matter of seconds. It can also trigger memories....some good, some bad, some happy, some painful....for me music has been my constant companion. I have turned to my favorite tracks when feeling happy, down, cold etc...for instance...on an especially cold, snowy Utah day when I was waiting for the bus and didn't get the forecast for the day. I was standing there wearing slippers, jeans, and a t-shirt. While everyone was in there parkas and had umbrellas...so I turned to my ipod and started to blast "Know That" by Next G and other island music and I immediately was passing the Koolau's on a sunny day. Now you never know what kind of music does it for different people. For instance I have a friend that LOVES..New Age music. NEW AGE MUSIC!!!!???? I was like...What the hell? When he started to play his "Celtic Woman" cds. But to each his own right? One day at work I was taking a clients vitals. He was an african american man who from all outward appearances looked pretty gangster. So I was in the middle of taking his blood pressure when he turned on his cd player. He had earphones on so I had to listen pretty closely to see what song he was listening to. I was so shocked to realize he was listening to David Archuleta. DAVID ARCHULETA from American Idol!!! He saw the look on my face and knew what shocked me. He started to laugh and then proceeded to tell me all about David Archuleta...it was a trip. But like I said you never know what music does it for people. I'm pretty eclectic in my music choices. I like some hip hop but after awhile it all sounds the same with the same message...either it's about money, or ho's, or money and ho's, or money and ho's who have big booty's or other big anatomy. So yeah...it gets old after a minute. I like a lot of alternative..I haven't jumped on the country train yet...there are a few songs I like but I can't really handle a lot of the majorly twangy stuff. I love oldies...There ain't nothing like blastin "I do Love you" by GQ or "I destroyed" by Terry Huff and Special Delivery while driving home. Or even putting on a little Marvin Gaye singing "Got to Give It up". I do like songs with a message like "Wonderful" by Everclear, "As Time Goes On" by Sean Paul, or "Africa Unite" by Bob Marley..but I also like songs that can hook you in by the beat...like "Doo Wah Ditty" by Zapp. So knowing all of this you can imagine when I'm listening to the radio I say "Dang that's my jam!" A LOT.

I like a ton of different songs but here are just a few of my favorites:

Alternative:
1. Amber - 311
2. Santeria - Sublime
3. Most No Doubt songs
4. Look After You - The Fray
5. Adele's Album 19

Reggae:
1. Stand Alone - Bob Marley (actually most Bob Songs)
2. Zimbabwe
3, Rastaman Chant
4. Kaya
5. Rollerskates- Steel Pulse
6. Lovers In A dangerous Time - Lucky Dube
7. Perfect Peace - Toots & the Maytals
8. Rock Steady - Small Axe

Rock:
1. Last Resort - Papa Roach
2. Alive - POD
3. One Last Breath - Creed
4. Breed - Nirvana (thanks to Guitar Hero :))
5. I Remember You - Skid Row

Gospel:
1. He Still Loves Me - Fighting Temptations
2. Change is Coming - Sounds of Blackness
3. Step Aside - Yolanda Adams
4. Just One Afternoon - Ma-V-Elle
5. Fly Like A Bird - Mariah Carey

R&B
1. Whenever Whereever Whatever - Maxwell
2. No More Rain - Angie Stone
3. Tell Him - Lauryn Hill
4. Change is Gonna Come - Lauryn Hill and Wyclef
5. Once in a Lifetime - Beyonce

and the List goes on....

My Mom...

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and guess who is on my mind.....yup my Mom! If I had to describe my mom in a few words I would start with Beautiful, Fiesty, Strong, Loving...well "loving" might not be a strong enough word...Maybe "Fiercely Loving" especially to her children. She did everything for her children..and tried her best to do everything she could to take care of her family. Unfortunately at the young age of 49 Cancer took her life. My mom also had mental issues that plagued her from 1983 to the time of her passing. When I think of my mom I can't help but feel guilt...for not being a better daughter, for letting her down, and for not being there for her when I could have been. I was too caught up at the time in my own life and what I was doing, that I didn't take the time to write her or call her or just be with her in the last few days of her life. At the time no one really close to me had passed away....so I almost had this "it couldn't possibly happen to me" feeling. I remember when I heard my mom had cancer I just thought..."well it's in the early stages, I'm sure she'll be okay". My mom passed away 2 months after her diagnosis. You know I hear people say, "I have no regretts" or "You shouldn't have any regretts because those decisions helped you become the person you are today"...I think that's BULLCRAP! I will regrett for as long as I live that I didn't take the first flight out as soon as I heard she was sick, I will regrett for as long as I live that I didn't write her more, I will regrett for as long as I live that I didn't tell her enough times that I love her. I will regrett for as long as I live that I didn't grab a hold of every moment I could, to be with her. So in my prayers every so often I speak to her....I apologize to her on my knees until all my tears are gone..and I see her beautiful face. Smiling...Beautiful... Whole...Well....without the cares of the world that were already on her shoulders, without illness, without pain...and I know that she hears me.

It is better to have loved and lost...

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." - Tennyson

On May 4th marked the anniversary of Kona's death. Vaikona Liufau Tuifua died at the age of 20. He was in the Missionary Training Center at the time. Him and two other missionaries decided to climb Rock Canyon (Behind the Provo Temple). From what his companion told me after it happened...they were about half way up (400 ft)and Kona was getting tired. So they rested on a ledge for a bit. Kona(being from Hawaii)wasn't use to the altitude and so he decided to not go any furthur. His companion and the other missionary decided to go the rest of the way but told Kona not to go down by himself but to wait for them. The last time they saw him he was taking pictures close to the end of the ledge. When they reached the top they heard sirens coming near the mountains. They were worried and started to climb down when they heard their names being called over a loud speaker. When they reached the bottom they were told that Kona had fallen. Another missionary that was close to the bottom had seen someone fall and hit the canyon floor then went to get help. Kona died instantly.

We had been dating for about a year, we had our ups and downs but I loved him very much and we had decided that we would be married when we got back from our missions. Unfortunately things don't always work out the way we plan. I was in Chicago, Illinois at the time serving a mission. That whole day I was pretty meloncholy without knowing why. We had some kind of dinner at the chaple that night where alot of the other missionaries would be at. I always loved these events because we got to see how everyone was doing. But that night inparticular I remember my heart being heavy. All the other missionaries were talking and laughing, but I couldn't be around them. So I walked into the chapel. All the lights were off except for a spot light on the piano. I walked over there and sat on the bench and flipped to some of my favorite songs "Where Can I turn for Peace?", "Abide With Me tis even' tide", and "I need the every hour"...and I sang them.... every word, every line, every verse...and my heart got lighter for a minute...and I knew though I wasn't sure why I was feeling down but I knew things would be okay.

When we got home we usually would be asleep by 930pm....but for some reason we all stayed up. We lived in this roach infested ghetto apartment on the West Side of the city. It was one room but 3 sets of missionaries lived there. It was about 11:30pm when the phone rang. I answered the phone and I heard a familiar voice. It was Nuku one of Konas best friends who was in Hawaii. I was so excited to hear his voice that I didn't realize he was crying. Finally he gave the phone to his sister Pua and she said, "I have to give you some bad news, Kona died today" She proceeded to try and tell me what had happened ...but I don't even remember how I got off the phone with her. I don't know how to describe that kind of pain...It was a physical pain...it was a void in my heart...I was empty. Our future was entwined...and imagining my life without him...was inconceivable at the time. Thinking about never being able to talk to him or hear his laugh destroyed me for a bit...but my mind kept going back to when I was sitting in the chaple singing...and the feeling that things would be okay.

Losing someone you love is probably one of the hardest things we will go through in this life...but I know the Lord is mindful of me and has me in His hands. I can now talk about him with a smile on my face...and think about the fun times that we had with a happy heart. I have dreams of him sometimes....most of the time it makes me happy to feel that he is looking in on me. It's been quite a few years since he has passed and I am still grateful everyday that I was blessed for the time we had together. I still haven't found anyone else yet....but I will forever be grateful for the chance that I had to love him.

Figuring out my journey...

So I just got back to Utah from Hawaii. The whole time I was there my heart just felt full of love for my family, for Laie and for Hawaii in general. The drive home is probably my favorite drive..you got the Koolau mountain range on the left of you, and the beach on the right. It was beyond beautiful and I knew it would be a little while before I would see it again. The next morning I got up about 5:00am and just could not go back to sleep...so I jumped in my sisters car and headed for "the Point". When I was at home I would go to the point a lot to think...or to eat :) or to chill...and i kept thinking about being home. Though I love being in Laie, and being so far away from my sisters is difficult, I knew that right now Laie isn't where I should be at this time in my life. That's been hard for me to swallow...to illustrate the point further let me just add that I have been back to Laie 14 times in the last year since I've moved to Utah.... yup I know that is a bit excessive. But this last time while watching the sunrise at the point I finally got it...letting go has been hard...but I know that I need to enjoy the journey and not just wait for it to be over...if you know what I mean. (referring to my time in Utah) So i decided since I have one more day here at home I'm just going to enjoy it with the people I love...I went to visit my Uncle Misi (my mom's brother) who told me that he was so proud of me for being out there on my own and not ending up in a cardboard box...but when was I going to hurry up and come home:) If you knew my Uncle you would know this was said in love. Spending time with my sisters when I'm home is always my favorite part of my trip. I miss all the laughing and the talks and just being around them. (They are a whole other blog all on there own so I won't get into them yet.) So this has been a really good trip for me. A lot of people have asked me why I moved in the first place...I usually just say "for school" which is an answer but a little incomplete. Initially when I decided that I needed to get my masters I had made the decision to move to the Bay Area. I felt good about it and I have two brothers that live in Cali not to mention numerous family members so I started to make plans to do that. Then one day I was on that drive home again from Kaneohe and I felt a strong impression that I should move to Utah, I had been praying to know if Cali was the right place to move to and I felt that I just got my answer. Now anyone who knows me would know that Utah would be my very last choice when choosing a place to move to. So I did a lot of, "Utah!!??, Are you sure Lord?" prayers...I had visited a cousin of mine twice in Utah and I hated it both times...but after I knew that Utah was where I should be I felt a lot better about it. So here I sit ...in Utah... with hopefully a better outlook and attitude about being here. I really have been blessed to meet a lot of great people here and to find a job I love, and hopefully I'll be able to actually get back to school in the next year or so. But my prayer is that I stay open to change and new opportunities despite how scary it may seem...so I'll continue my journey...I don't know where it'll lead me but ...I'll keep ya posted.

Crossroads...

So a mission friend of mine posted on my page and asked, "What have you been doing for the past 15 years?" I wrote back with a general response that answered the question for the moment. Some short list of things like ...school, work, traveling etc. But the question bothered me for a bit and actually still does. Then another question came to my mind "Am I where I am suppose to be at this juncture in my life? Did I accomplish what I should have accomplished by age....30 something :) Did I make the right decisions when a significant life change/choice was at stake? " The honest answer to that is "I don't know". I am not an overachiever by any stretch of the imagination and so It's not like I had a list of 100 and 1 things to do by age ...30 something..but as I look back I can't help but worry about the "what If's". Now before I get the calls...or most likely the txt's to check if I'm depressed...I am not depressed!....maybe just a little reflective... Okay so I know already..."Onward and up ward! Don't look back but keep moving forward! You can't change the past so make a better future! I know all the advice that I am sure is in the mind of those who read this...AND I know nothing can change the choices I have made...but in my heart I can't help but think that I possibly missed out on something great or missed out on being more than I am now....if that makes any sense. Now there is no possible way to know if that is true...and of course the opposite of that is I probably dodged some major bullets with the choices I've made but...it just made me think. And is it possible to change your course so late in the game...(okay so it's not majorly late but you know what I mean.) Actually the real question....If I am being totally honest with myself is....Do I have the courage now to be ...MORE.. and to do the work necessary to attain the goals I have in this life? I'm not going to lie there are more days then I would care to admit where I am hitting the snooze button on my life....but for today ...I would say the answer is "Yes"....but then again, it's only about 6:30 in the morning :)

January 9th 2009

Yesterday was probably my worst day at Detox (Which is where I work) I got told off and sworn at by two mentally ill homeless clients yesterday. I had major staff issues I had to handle, and a meeting I didn’t want to be at. Not to mention having to work at my second job at the airport until midnight last night. I went to the airport yesterday with a heavy heart and a question in my mind as to why I moved to Utah in the first place or even why I was at this job….I went so far as to look for other work, as well as contemplate whether or not I am doing any good where I am at…and then this morning as I came into work one of our old clients walked up to the door and asked if there was a bed available. I could tell that he had been drinking …he began to cry saying he hated us seeing him like this and that he was so tired of messing up. I could see the anguish in his eyes and how tired he was …it broke my heart ….and reminded me why I love working at a job that doesn’t cover my bills :) …Detox is a place of a million and one chances in the hopes that this time it sticks and they stay clean…it can be considered “rock bottom” for some and a place of hope for others…and doesn’t everyone deserve a safe place to regroup and figure out what their next step should be?… I still am not totally certain why I am here but I know this is where I need to be for now.

25 Random Things...

Okay so I got sent this 25 random things from my brother so thought I'd share

1. I am addicted to cough drops...only the blue mentho-lyptus Halls kind..people think I'm joking ...but it's true, but the good news is I am slowly weaning myself off of them...the bad news is that I got sick and now I actually have a cough.
2. I love singing in the car....not so much in the shower but in the car you can fully blast your music and sing like your in concert...where no one can boo you lol.
3. I am constantly amazed at my siblings...all they have been through...and continue to go through....and the fact that we're not as dysfunctional as most people would have thought we'd be :)
4. One of my dreams is to one day make a rec center in Laie to provide mentoring/ couseling/ job training/ as well as activities for the youth on the North Shore.
5. I hate MOCHI CRUNCH. And I really don't like when people speak to me after they've eaten it.
6. One of my goals is to play "Feels so good"by Chuck Mangione on the trumpet.
7. I use to love to boogie board...even though I do not know how to swim.
8. I am a 49er fan. though I don't watch much football, nor do I know who is playing on the team......but I have always been and always will be a Niner Fan.
9. I love black and white photography and hope to one day be able to take and develop my own pictures.
10. I never sleep on my back...ever since watching Friday the 13th when Kevin Bacon gets speared in the throat by an arrow coming from under the bed.
11. I love hearing stories about my parents....even if they are sad stories.
12. I am a firm believer in miracles...
13. I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Chicago, Illinois for a year and a half. That experience still influences me to this day. It was one of the hardest and most rewarding times of my life.
14. I want to get my Masters in School Psychology and then go home to Laie and work with the kids in our community.
15. I love being around positive uplifting people....negative people are a downer.
16. I have pretty bad road rage at times. THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT LITTLE LEVER ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE OF YOUR STEERING WHEEL...LEARN HOW TO SIGNAL IDIOTS!

17. I hate being in wedding lines. Like I really really hate it... I hate it more than Mochi Crunch. 18. I love kids and hope I have some one day.
19. I joined the break dance club in college.
20. I love meeting new people...although I am somewhat of a loner.
21. I loved our dog Zumen. He was actually my uncles dog at first but would cry outside our door all the time. He was named after the Hurricane we were having at the time. He would sit with me for hours on the steps in front of my house. He was the best guard dog ever and would bark at everyone that came up our drive way no matter how many times you came our house.
22. I am 99.9% more irritable if I need to pee.
23. Although I do not have any dogs right now I have already picked out their names ..1. Niner & 2. Little Brother
24. When I lived in Hawaii I use to love hearing my sister and my brother in law laugh together...I felt the same about my parents when I was younger.
25. I love being around people that without any effort ..just by being themselves they make me want to do better and be a better person.

Just Standing By...

Written March 21st

So about a month or so ago I went to “Circus Circus” with Pam and Tai, & my nieces’ and nephews. As soon as we got in there the three older kids wanted to ride on the Sling Shot so they ran over to the line and Alvin (the 4th oldest) followed them. Of course he wanted to go on the ride that his brother and sisters would be on. Unfortunately as we measured his height against the Cartoon character that said he had to be so tall...we realized he was too short. As he stood there he didn't seem to know why we had to check how tall he was...then we explained that he was too short to go on the ride...the look on his face broke my heart. He didn't cry or wasn't whiny at all he just came back and stood by us while we watched the three older ones move through the line then up to the ride. I told him he could go on the Ferris wheel...but he said it looked boring...which it totally did. But half way through waiting for the older ones to finish he turns to me and says “okay Aunty we can go on that one" in the saddest voice you ever heard…Again totally broke my heart!... and every ride he went on after that even if it was a kiddie ride where we knew for sure he could get on ...he went back to the cartoon character to see if he was tall enough with a worried look on his face...Which of course broke my heart yet again. Pam (Alvin's mom) always says I'm a sucker when it comes to the kids but I don't know how parents do it. Okay so I'm sure Alvin forgot all about being disappointed because afterwards he was fine. But it got me thinking about all the times parents have to watch while their child is disappointed, sad, or hurt. I know it’s important for kids to learn how to lose well, or to realize that some times life is unfair, and to generally just learn how to deal with disappointing situations but that experience helped me for a second glimpse at the heart of a parent and how their hearts must break everyday for their children. All the while loving them enough to let them gain that experience and hopefully it will help their children become stronger, kind, and more compassionate towards others. On a spiritual note it also helps me appreciate a loving Heavenly Father who sees the bigger picture, actually the entire plan and knows what is best for us and what would bring us happiness, …even if that means that we struggle through situations and decisions that we have made. I am so grateful for my parents whom I love so much, all the other great parents I know….for their example and for such a patient loving Father in Heaven. This also reminds me of a poem I read awhile ago....

The Friend Who Stands By

When troubles come your soul to try

You Love the friend who just stands by.

Perhaps there's nothing she can do

The thing is strictly up to you.

For there are troubles all your own

And paths the soul must tread alone.

Times when love can't smooth the road

Nor friendship lift the heavy load.

But just to feel you have a friend

Who will stand by until the end.

Whose sympathy through all endures

Whose warm handclasp is always yours.

It helps somehow to pull you through

Although there's nothing she can do.

And so with fervent heart we cry

God Bless the friend who just stands

by.Anonymous