All wrong turns lead to Kearns....

So I have been living in Utah for a little over a year and a half...that should've been ample time for me to learn and understand the grid system (which is the way the roads are set up), right? It seems easy enough when it's explained to me ...but for some reason I still get lost on a daily....no maybe bi-weekly basis. I use to always end up in Kerns every time I got lost(hence the title)...don't even ask me how or why but it is a true fact.

When I was living in Hawaii there was no way I could get lost. I could navigate around the island on auto pilot..but this is not Hawaii and I am wasting a ton of gas getting lost...so what is my solution? Well I was thinking of getting a GPS....but I fear I will mess with it too much when I'm driving...which is unsafe. (That being said I also text while I am driving which is ABSOLUTELY unsafe and I am desperately trying to rid myself of this habit...starting today :)) A lot of times I get distracted or I start singing a song that's playing on the radio and totally miss my turn or exit, then I don't know how to get back to where I need to be. I'll eventually find my way but it would be nice to know where I need to go and be able to go straight there.

I know you gotta be feeling a life lesson coming up next right :) ....

I know exactly where I want to be, what I want to be and what I want in my life....but my interpretation of the directions and my own distractions make getting to THAT PLACE (the place I need and want to be) a little difficult...will I eventually find my way?..Yes, however if I eliminate a lot of the distractions I might be able to get there quicker. So what should I let go of, or even add to my life to make my journey to THAT PLACE..less confusing, more efficient, and possibly more enjoyable? Well you're just not going to get an answer to that question today...but it definitely is something that is heavy on my mind.

I'll tell you one thing though I will forever be grateful to those who care enough to help me get back on track..AND have reminded me that I am on a journey...and not yet at THAT PLACE... Settling is for SUCKAS y'all.

Vivid & beautiful...

I always seem to have a lot on my mind....today was no exception. So as always driving and music were a must...those two things always seem to settle my mind down...so I decide to finally go down south and check out the Alpine Loop. I've been meaning to go for the past two weeks but something else always came up...anyways it was such a beautiful day today..the leaves are changing to vivid shades of orange, red, yellow and brown...so you set that against a stunning azure sky and you got a picture perfect day. Unfortunately I only have an old school Pentax SLR so since the film is still in my camera bag with the 4 other rolls of film I need to develop I'm only posting the ones I took with my cell phone.


The drive through Provo Canyon was breathtaking, and healing. I am amazed at Heavenly Fathers creations...what He has in trusted us with...to take care of, to love, to appreciate, and to cultivate...this thought also reminds me of the nieces and nephews I've been blessed to have in my life. They are so precious and beautiful, unique and special..they have been the source of so much joy in my life and I have been so fortunate to be touched by the hope I see in their countenances. They are meant to do great things...I know this in my heart and I am in awe of all they can accomplish if they are given the chance and the tools to reach their potential. I pray they my grow strong, steadfast and immovable despite the trials and storms that they will encounter in this life...I know the Lord has them in His hands and will continue to lead and protect them. I love them all beyond measure and will do anything I can to be there for them whenever they need me.

I found a poem years ago when I was going through a difficult time that came into my mind as I was driving through the canyon..thought I'd share...

Good Timber

by Douglas Malloch
The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth,
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.

MY NEICE BRIANNA FIDOW



ONE MY FAVORITE PICTURES OF VICKY AND IREE



MAHEA & MOKU STONE



EZRA, VICKY, AND ALVIN @ TEMPLE SQUARE



TAUTE & KUSO

Happy Birthday Tai!!

In a half hour it will be my little sisters birthday, and since I can't sleep I thought I would write about her. She was born Fa'afetai Makanani Ativalu...but we just call her Tai. Even though we are 9 years a part in age we are very close. Tai reminds me of my mom. My mom was beautiful,fiercly loving and affectionate,but at the same time... you did not want to get on her bad side. Everyone that meets me and my sisters always say Tai must be the nice one....they obviously have been blessed to stay on her good side :) No actually Tai is very nice, but she is also very protective of those she loves. She is one of my very favorite people. Let me tell you a typical Tai experience. One night at about 1:00 in the morning Tai comes to me and wakes me up and says, "Hey Sue you know that Seinfeld episode where they are talking about the muffin tops..well THEY ARE the best part!". Now I thought this was strange but I went back to sleep. Then I wake up in the morning to my older sister screaming.."WHO THE HELL ATE ALL THE TOPS OF MY MUFFINS!!!" Apparently she had bought 6 big muffins and all the tops were missing. Of course Tai was long gone, and at school by the time my sister found out. :) Tai loves the history channel and math...and has gone back to school to get her degree in Math education. I miss talking with her. Like most of my siblings I can talk to Tai about anything and everything. From local news, to spiritual matters, to politics, to some weird information she got off the history channel. Tai has this laugh that can make you cry...meaning if you do something that she thinks is funny, she will laugh so hard until you want to slap her ..no joke. I was so happy that Tai found someone that could appreciate all of her...all her quirkiness, humor, thoughts, and feelings. Allen and her totally match :) ...They laugh constantly and have a really strong friendship as well as relationship. I love my sister and wish I could be there with her on her day..like I said before she is one of my favorite people and I am so thankful that I am her sister. Love you Tai!

a restless night....

You were in my dreams last night. I couldn't sleep again. I probably slept a total of 2 hours ...but somewhere in that time...I was sitting with you and you were brushing my hair like you use to when I was little...and you were humming a song...that I can't recall...I felt so at peace..and safe..I miss you mom...more than my heart can express.

...Daring to be different..

What a boring beige world it would be if we all stayed within the lines and were carbon copies of eachother.

So today a friend of mine made a comment to me....now I don't remember his exact words... but it had something to do with me trying to be different or trying to always do things my way....or something to that affect...now as always this got me to look inward and reflect upon the way I am and the way I act. Do I try to be different? Do I try and do things my way? and Is that a bad thing? As I contemplate further I realize that for the most part I try to be true to myself and my feelings on things...if that is not "popular" or the "norm" then...who cares? I mean I know he didn't mean it in a bad way at all and I am almost certain that he was joking with me but...I am who I am...I try to be respectful of other peoples opinions and ways ...but at the end of the day I have to live in my skin and I have to be okay with the things I ultimately decide to do. If that in and of itself makes me different....then I'm good with being different. I don't intentionally try and do things differently from others...just to be different. (Because that would be lame!) I do things, or say things, or act a certain way because I totally feel in my heart that is the way I should do them..if I am wrong or if my actions hurt anyone....then believe me I will do anything and everything to rectify the situation.. but until then I'm going to continue to be me..and be okay with that.